DON’T
JUST DON’T
JUST STOP THIS THING RIGHT NOW
….this.
This is just pure evil. Why would you even make something like this?
Must go call my gynecologist and let her know my ovaries exploded…again.
Favorite Avengers Quote
- Bruce Banner: I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
- Thor: Have a care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother.
- Natasha Romanoff: He killed eighty people in two days.
- Thor: He’s adopted.
Crochet Rules
Rule #1: No time spent crocheting is ever wasted.
Rule #2: Keep track of your markers.
Rule #3: That’s not a mistake, that’s a design element.
Rule #4: There’s no such thing as too much yarn.
Rule #5: There’s no crying in crochet.
Rule #6: Never start a project without at least two hooks in the required size.
Rule #7: No coffee within 10 feet of yarn, projects, patterns or critical paperwork.
Rule #8: Block that puppy.
Rule #9: If the hook is not moving easily and smoothly in and out of the stitches, you are crocheting too tightly. Relax.
Rule #10: If it hurts, stop.
Rule #11: Check your work. Often.
Rule #12: Seam crochet only when absolutely unavoidable.
Rule #13: Cut yarn only when absolutely unavoidable (see special circumstance Rule #19).
Rule #14: The private should look as good as the public.
Rule #15: Whenever doable, obtain twice as much yarn as you think the project will require (a corollary to Rule #4).
Rule #16: There is no right way or wrong way, but there is the way to get the same results as shown.
Rule #17: Listen to the yarn.
Rule #18: Yarn sometimes lies.
Rule #19: Exterminate all knots and wonky sections as they arise from a skein.
Rule #20: UFOs that have not spoken to you for more than a year may be considered stash in pre-crocheted form.
Rule #21: Read the fracking pattern.
Rule #22: The pattern could be wrong.
Rule #23: Get it when you see it because when you come back next time it might not be there (another corollary to Rule #4).
Rule #24: Life is too short to mess with indifferent yarn.
Rule #25: Sweat the details.
Rule #26: Crochet is not dumb and neither are crocheters.
Rule #27: Knitting is not the enemy.
Rule #28: Anyone who doesn’t get Rule #26 is the enemy.
